One of my more irritating behaviours, and I have a few
apparently, is to respond to questions about how I am with a big smile, eye
contact and, ‘Absolutely Stunning’ or ‘Magnificent’. The reaction varies a lot but mostly consists
of the sort of confusion that one usually tries to create when inducing a
trance in hypnosis. When people tell me that they are OK, I implore them to
raise the bar, to be stupendous, incredible or sensational. I was in a coffee
shop last week and a young woman responded with a huge grin and great gusto to
my ‘Absolutely stunning’ with, ‘Well, I’m fantastically wonderful’. This produced lots of laughs and grins from
the assembled addicts, sprinkled with the odd look that seemed to suggest we
were on prohibited substances.
A lot of these transactions are with people who are working
and who do not, on the face of it, look like they are having a good time. In fact,
I’ve often wondered weather or not people put on their serious hat when they
walk into their place of work: managers included.
There is a substantial amount of research and plentiful anecdotal
accounts to suggest that having fun at work improves productivity,
inventiveness, engagement, and the health and well being of workers. Similarly
we know that environment is a factor in determining how people feel: a bright
airy, cheerful ambience is going to result in far more positive outlook than a
dark, dingy and windowless office, for example. Humans are deeply sensitive and
unconsciously so to events in the environment such as the behaviour of others
both verbal and non-verbal, surroundings, climate, smells, light and so on.
Canny people, great leaders, know how to influence people out of their
awareness by manipulating these elements.
But it seems that work is a serious business as far as I can
see. It’s almost irreverent to think of work as something other than serious
for some people and one gets strange looks when the mask of seriousness is
challenged. A now retired colleague of mine reminded me the other day of his previous
habit of doing tapestry when he attended really long meetings. He did this to
stop falling asleep and, I suspect, because he got extremely bored with the
goings on. Some of these meetings would go all day. You’d think that such an
event could lead to some sort of nasty psychosis. About an hour is as long as I
can stand in a meeting before I start to get the fidgets. I am an expert at
conducting short meetings mostly for my sanity.
You can guess the sort of reaction he got to this novel
habit from what was a pretty conservative bunch of university council members.
Mind you, he reckons that it was very powerful because when he put down his
tapestry to speak all eyes were on him and he had their attention.
Most of you have probably seen the video or at least read
articles about the fish market in Seattle appropriately called ‘Fish’. If you
haven’t, then have a look, it’s fantastic. One of the themes is about having
fun at work and this market have become world famous by doing what they do and
entertaining customers and invigorating themselves. They didn’t want to be ordinary.
In fact, who wants to be ordinary? It may, of course, not be
a matter of choice. Some people find it hard to have fun. I remember a
psychiatrist once telling a patient that she was about to be discharged and she
responded that she couldn’t go home because she was much too depressed. The
doctor replied that she wouldn’t be happy unless she as depressed. This has
stayed with me, I was 19 at the time, and I think there is an element of truth
in this. Some people need to be serious, businesslike. Others find it hard to
smile, have eye contact, touch, or respond with enthusiasm.
The psychotherapy literature, however, would suggest that
you can indeed learn how to have fun in your dealings with the world. If we can
teach depressed people to change how they speak, think and present themselves
in a more positive way, then it seems likely that we can teach the average
person at work. The research on happiness is still in its infancy so the jury
is still out on what happiness is and how to achieve it, despite the popular
books on the subject. But I’m convinced, as a therapist because I’ve done it
countless times, that we can change how people behave and thereby change how
they feel about themselves. I have worked with people who have Asperger’s
Syndrome and they can be taught the skills associated with interpersonal
connectedness, even though it doesn’t come naturally to them.
I think that being able to create a fun workplace is a
mandatory capability for managers and, fundamental to being a great if not humane
leader. Make it part of your strategic
conversations with your staff and develop, or have your staff, develop some
great ways to enhance your workplace, make it cheerful and make it fun. Watch
the culture change and people lift.
Incidentally, if you wake up miserable and don’t feel like
being cheerful at work today-here’s a tip. Force yourself to sing in the shower,
spruce yourself up, dress in clothes that mostly make you feel good, force a
smile, and put your shoulders back. Force yourself to smile, make eye contact,
and tell everyone around you how great you feel, that life is great and that
you are going to have a hell of a day. Repeat as necessary and you will indeed
have a great day. Mostly, enjoy yourself and make it your mission to make those
around you to have a great day too.
Have fun.
People with Aspergers often achieve very well and may even be savants. The issue is their problems with interpersonal relating-which, as I mentioned, can be helped, if it is a problem for them and sometimes it is irrelevant.
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